If you have any issues at the meeting and feel as the meeting is not productive, stop the meeting and reschedule for another time. This gives both sides time to reflect on the differences and come up with suggestions. Before leaving the meeting, write down the accommodations you suggested and the reasons the school doesn’t feel they are appropriate. Write down the school’s suggestions.

Prior to the next meeting, talk with your child’s doctors and therapists about the accommodations you suggested and the school’s proposed accommodations. If they agree with you, ask them to write letters explaining why. Do your research to find out whether your suggested accommodations have been shown to help other children with ADHD. Use this information to adjust your requests or to restate your points at the next meeting.

Review the suggestions the school made. Are there some small changes you can suggest making these accommodations work? Are there reasons you think these accommodations are not the best options? Write down your reasoning. When you and the school meet again, you will be prepared to explain your position and provide information to back up your perspective. The school might take this time to come up with alternatives that are more acceptable.

Finally, if you don’t agree with the team’s suggestions, or you think more services should be included, you have the right to disagree and discuss why you dissent. You have the right to propose accommodations you believe will benefit your child.

Parents and schools don’t always agree, so spirited conversations take place. Some of the reasons schools disagree with parents’ suggestions include:

• the accommodation is not considered reasonable
• the accommodation is expensive
• teachers believe the accommodation will disrupt the classroom
• the accommodation is difficult to implement

It is best to be open to discussion and listen to the school’s objections to the accommodations you suggest. On the other hand, you should not allow the school to bully you into accepting accommodations that do not adequately address your child’s needs. If you don’t agree, ask the school district to come up with reasonable ways to address your concerns. Stay calm.

You also have the option of filing a complaint with the regional Office for Civil Rights.